Dear Life

Dear Snowboard,

Am I heavy?

Dear Sundance,

Please invest in a high speed quad, preferably with a foot rest. This should help cut down the time I spend sitting, as well as the entire ride up that I'm convinced that I could fall of at any second. Or jump in the event of a nervous breakdown.

Dear Sisters,

Lindsay is the best phone-talker lately. I would like to publically thank her for making me a priority in her life.

Dear Sisters,

I will still give you another chance. Please call and entertain me.

Dear Hair,

Wash your self. I'm over you.

Dear Walmart,

I love the Zebra rug you threw in my cart, even though it was in the $20 bin and it was actually $40.

Dear Wardrobe,

Be cuter. And invite more boots over.

Dear Olympics,

Sorry I have shunned you for American Idol, 24 and all my Tivo Homework from the Food Network. Where have you been for the past 4 years?

Dear Spring,

Maybe don't come this year- I hate pastels.

Dear Diet Coke,

You complete me.

Dear Ice Skaters,

How do you get nylons over your shoes?

Dear Law and Order,

How many episodes do I need to watch to get a badge?

Dear Gym,

I have nothing to say to you. Shun.

Dear Office,

I miss the good old days when you could make me laugh out loud. Maybe you should bring Holly back. Or possibly create a position for cousin Moze.

P.S. In the event that any of you respond, thank you for your consideration.